First - I am very fortunate that my injury (a sprained ankle) is very temporary. So I'll just say that to start off. I spent the past week hobbling around NYC on crutches (though admittedly I spent more time on my sofa with my leg propped up, watching episodes of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report). I don't claim to have any insight whatsoever into what it's like to deal with something like this on a long-term basis. But I have observed a few things just from being out and about in the city, trying to get from point A to B to C and back to A. So the following list of things to do and not to do for someone on crutches (or with some obvious mobility issue) pertains really only to my own experience. Other people might think differently about it. But it's something to think about.
1. Do offer to help. I didn't always feel like asking for help, but when people offered to carry things for me in the grocery store, or get a drink for me at dinner, or in my roommate's case, run downstairs and get my seamless.com delivery, I really appreciated it. I also really appreciated not having to ask.
2. If help is refused, don't insist. The other night, I was slowly making my way up a short flight of stairs. A well-meaning man said he wanted to help me. I really didn't want help. I was very carefully balancing, and it took some concentration. He insisted, and in spite of my saying "no" repeatedly, came and took my arm anyway and more or less forcibly helped me up the stairs. I felt off-balance and a little panicked. I was actually glad when he let go and it was once more just me and my crutches.
3. Do offer your seat on the bus or subway. Seriously. This one should be obvious. It was always obvious to me before this happened, and it's even more obvious now. And most people get it. But there are a few that don't. Particularly on the Queens bound N train at 4:30 in the afternoon. (Likewise, if you are the one for whom someone gives up a seat, say "thank you." Those seats can be hard to come by, and the person giving it up might have been really tired and glad to have it).
4. Don't run ahead and grab the seat nearest the door when someone on crutches is right behind you. I am balancing on one foot and two metal poles. I want to sit down as soon as possible. I think some people do this without thinking, but it is really annoying.
5. It's OK to ask what happened, if you want to. Don't force someone to stand and talk to you forever, though, or try to use the person's injury to sell her something (so tacky). I met some nice people who were just curious and maybe had their own stories to share. I've had far more conversations with homeless people in the past week than I have had in the past decade, which is probably not a bad thing. The exception to all of this was the rep from the cable company who asked me what happened, and then proceeded to draw me into a long conversation in which she tried to get me to upgrade my cable subscription. Again - one foot, two metal poles. And it was cold out. Every time I said I had to go, she would draw me back in somehow. I know I should have just walked away and let her deal with it, but I'm not especially capable of doing that (too programmed to be polite, I think).
6. Finally ... DON'T STEAL SOMEONE'S CAB. Whereas some of these other things were merely annoying, this one filled me with rage. A deep, primal rage. It was done so blatantly, too. The people looked at me and ran for the cab and jumped in before I could get to it, even though I had hailed it.
7. Do offer to hail a cab for someone. A couple of people did this for me on the days I was having the most trouble. I really appreciated it.
So that's it for now. I'm sure I'll think of more, but these are some of the big ones I've noticed. And, I'm happy to say that as of today I am off the crutches and in an air-cast. I have to wear it for the next four weeks, but my mobility is drastically improved. Meanwhile, I learned a lot about getting around this city, and getting around in general, without full mobility. It hasn't been fun, but it certainly has given me more empathy for those who deal with these issues (and many much worse) on a daily basis.
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